I used to believe that it was important and essential to be liked by all. I could never truly understand why anyone would not accept me or like me since I always treated people with kindness and respect. I spent years of my life trying to reach out to people who treated me badly without really knowing why. I judged myself because of those who showed their dislike of anything I did, anything I thought, everything I was.
Because of this, I spent my life doubting myself and every decision I made. Always searching for other's approval had lead me to be a yes person regardless of what I was feeling inside. Now I am not saying there is anything wrong in trying to make people happy but the problem comes when this quality of mine turns into an obsession and affects how I see and treat myself.
In my life, the word failure has always been on the tip on my tongue whenever I failed to achieve any goal. The more I learned about Islam, the deeper my faith grew, the more I realized that sometimes we need to fail before we can succeed. I also learned that sometimes people do not like you because jealousy and being sad themselves rule their lives... so by understanding this, I have come to accept that I do not need to be liked by all. As long as I keep treating people with kindness and respect then I should proud of the person I am today. In Christianity I was taught "Do unto others as you want others to do unto you." This valuable lesson is also enforced in Islam by the quote "Love for thy brother/sister what you love for thyself." The unfortunate thing for me is that I have not loved myself as I should. I have not treated myself as I would treat others... so how can I expect everybody to like me when often I don't like myself.
For years I have struggled with my inner thoughts about myself. Unfortunately my low self-esteem has caused me to stop believing in myself at times and it has affected some of my relationships.
Islam has taught me that I do not need the approval of people to feel good. Islam has taught me that, although I should always treat people with kindness and respect, I should not seek their approval but rather only seek the approval of ALLAH Almighty. I used to worry about how people judged me regardless of my intentions or actions. Now I truly understand and live my life knowing the only and true judge is no other but ALLAH.
I am far from being perfect but I do know the value that is found in my heart. As I get closer to Allah, that value can only increase.
I am truly blessed that Allah has blessed me in allowing me to get closer to Him and find this inner peace I was seeking. Although I am still just in the beginning stages of my journey, I look forward to what tomorrow will throw at me because I am better and stronger today just for having Allah in my life.
I do not need to be liked or approved by all.... ALLAH's approval is what counts.
